I paced the floor of my room. I pull my hair back into a
high ponytail before I allow my arms to drop to my sides. I hated the idea of
Damon being hurt… I wanted to see him so badly just to check on him but another
part of me, the part of me that wanted to hate him for everything he’s ever
done, can’t bring myself to even call him. Stefan’s words hang over me,
resonating through my mind as if he’d screamed it into a cave. “I need you to
tell me you don’t have feelings for him.” I couldn’t answer him. What would I
say? I really can’t decipher my own thoughts these days, let alone decide how I
feel. All I know is that… I need them both. I need them both in my life for
different reasons. Neither is expendable, I would give my life for them and for
Bonnie, Caroline... Everyone and one day I knew it might very well come down to
that. I was the doppelganger, as long as I was allowed to live, if my line is
continued, Klaus would always have his monsters to roam the earth. All that
because of me, not to mention one of my future daughters would have to go
through this. I refused to allow that to happen. All my life’s aspirations,
gone, I would never be a mother… Which means I may never marry, I doubt Klaus
would let me go off to college or do anything for that matter. I was his pet,
doomed to follow him around like a loyal dog. The Salvatore’s wouldn’t let him
take me without a fight and they would surely lose. Yet, my blood on my hands, there
had to be something I could do. Something that would save them… the thought occurred
to me once more. The one I was made to promise I wouldn’t, I would have to die.
They would hate me, surely all of them would be angry at me for taking the easy
way out but it would solve everything. Damon and Stefan wouldn’t need to fight;
my friends would stop suffering because of me. Klaus wouldn’t have me to make
an army of killer, mind slave, hybrids to ravage the earth. My death would
solve it all.
>> This is how I fall @_MoonliteShadow
Thy
iniquities cause me great pain. Lashing through me as if you had driven me
through with a sword. They leave me battered and bruised.Falling through time
and space, reminded daily of what I have lost and what's left to gain. The
ground comes quick now, death sure to follow. As with your own immortality
burglarizes my own. Ripped from me, my heart still beating and bloody. I can see
it now, crystallized in my mind. Clarity the last symptom of my eradication.
Benumbed now, the pain fading slowly away. My final words hanging loosely on my
lips. Tis love that finally does me in. Cursed by your infidelity, I welcome the
darkness. I take myself into it, accepting my fate. For if the I leave this
world having but one sin, I'm glad it was loving you, bring on the
pain.
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