Sunday, March 10, 2013

#ForbiddenSecrets -- @FeminaeFatalis

The myth of how vampires came to be has been passed down through the generations always a different theory than the last. The sort of cruel humans that were punished both during life and death; which lead to the very first vampires and down the line; myself, but I am not made from the taking of a life, but, by the birth of one, I am the half breed. I don't sparkle, /real/ vampires those who mix their venom with humans die in the sun and by stakes, fire. I, however, though sun weakens me can go out in it. Stakes and Fire can kill me but you'd be surprised how many things they could kill. Not much weakens /real/ vampires and though it affects me I can often withstand… Silver being both mine and the full blood's kryptonite. There aren’t many things about myself that would give away my lineage; my heart still beats and for the most part I can live normally even go indefinitely without blood though that stunts my abilities. One thing that sets me apart from the humans; my eyes, without warning they will glow a bright green and usually at the worst moments. I walk the line of two worlds, both vampire and human and yet I belong to neither. Hating the evil within me I seek vengeance on those who I resemble most, the vampires. I will kill them all or die trying.

The sun hung low over the mountains set in the distance. A blanket of silver lay across the land I stared into the distance; second guessing my plan. Behind me was a club that’s been known to have frequent vampire customers, though I suppose the name ‘Pulse’ might have given it away. There were a few places like this in the world; places that a very little amount of humans knew were strictly vampire central, and those that just happen by are often sent home with a hung-over induced by blood loss rather than alcohol intake. I came here to find a fanger I could kill. I hadn’t had a good kill in over a month and it seemed to now be something I’d grown addicted to. The kill, the lust for blood but not just any blood, vampire blood; you might think it’s weird for a half breed such as myself to hunt and kill my own kind but to be honest, I couldn’t hate them more. They raped my mother, almost took her life and then 9 months later she gave birth to me. I suppose it wasn’t a bad life, in the grand scheme of things, she didn’t treat me like some half blood sucker; I was her daughter but when it came to my 16 birthday and all of the sudden I had a brand new set of fangs, things got a little weird.

Nothing too dire but still, it was hard keeping my new powers under control and she’d kept her distance. Now, however, 22 years old and well in control of my vampire abilities I’ve found that slaying them is more fun and more addicting than any drug out there. I turned toward the door of the building that was only now lit by a single sign that red ‘Pulse’ in red letters and an open sign that flashed blue in the place’s only window. I started inside and for a moment as the low hum of rock music of the Indi persuasion played in the background I was taken back. The outside didn’t look like much, just kind of a run-down old Tavern but inside it was lush with crimson. Blood red curtains and satin covered seating lined each wall; with the bar smack in the middle of the room. People scattered around the bar were gyrating to the music and the whole place reeked of blood and sweat. I’d learned how to tell which were vampires and which were humans. My hearing, though not quite as good as I would assume a full breeds would be, was enough to hear the slightest thrumming within the chests of every person in here; those with heartbeats and those without.

Vampires couldn’t resist a young nubile woman, men and woman alike. It was like picking from the forbidden fruits, plucking an apple at its prime and they simply loved to get the first taste. Today, I wore what would seemingly categorize me as a young newbie child of the dark. Too much eyeliner and more black than anyone should ever wear. It was like screaming at the top of your lungs, daddy never loved me enough and I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. I could almost feel their eyes on me, groping me with their gaze and practically undressing me with their minds. It was like being put on display; naked and allowing everyone in the room to appraise me, which in all actuality was exactly what I was doing. I was giving them something to look at, something to pull them in; I was baiting them, hook, line and sinker.

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Sunday, March 3, 2013

Fate


FATE
Sitting in a sea of confusion,
Waiting for someone to take me home,
The land goes up in one big flame.
There’s no one around but me to blame.
You’re there with your eyes so bright.
All you’re doing is staring with a face full of fright.
It’s so hard here because nothing is right.
What am I to do when I’ve done everything?
When there’s no where left to turn where do I go?
Not to you, not them, and not home.
The world is full of zany fools, and I’m one.
What has happened to me? What have you done?
This is me, wake up and realize you can’t change the way I am.
You can crash and burn but you can’t break the dam.
This is how my life goes. How the world turns.
This is the difficulty I live. How the sun burns.
The rain falls in its unstoppable feat.
This how the drums sound with their one of a kind beat,
No one can change how my life is for it’s too late.
That’s why I gave up, and accepted my fate.

Set Me Free.


I'm tired of
Loving Who
You once were
The man I knew
No More Grudges
For Me To Hold
No More nights
Out in the cold
Stop coming 'round
Then disappearing
Stop breaking Promises
Then reappearing
All we've done
Where we've been
We aren't the same
As we were then
It's just you trying
To hold onto
The Past that we
Cannot undo
Take this night
Heed my word
From this heart
I have poured
Find yourself
Outside of me
Live You’re Life
Set Me Free...

Mirror in your eyes.


Looking in the mirror
Who do I see?
Not my face, someone else
Looking back at me
For I know not who
That I have become
This person that I see...
To my fears I succumb
This mirror lies
It doesn't tell the truth
The dishonest nature
This mystery I sleuth.
The tears that fall down
The whimpers in the night
The heart that breaks
The end out of sight
How it all got this way
I may never know
I just wish that it would end
I'll reap what I sow
For though I may not know
What all lies ahead.
I will face the worst
Of the creatures lie undead.
I wish I could be complete again
Feel the way I felt.
Stop being so afraid
Take my fears off default.
For if we cannot deal
We have nothing left to do
We will come out eventually.
Because we always do
The mirror now goes dark
Go ahead take a bow.
The lying mirror says:
It's all over now…

Finally.

Take me back through space and time, true meaning hidden behind the rhyme.
Speak the truth, mean what you sand leave all the rest up to fate. 
You cannot force anyone to see, that the best things in life are free. 
The words they come right off the top, if left unspoken my brain would pop. 
Pumped full of misery, at times I grieve, finally a reason to believe. 
Straight to the heart her life has shone, together the pieced she as sown. 
Love has many names and faces, always filling the empty spaces.
This gift I now share with you, helping to pull you through. 
The lost and empty hours, as time and pain it devours. 
Hear this rhyme and let love heal, allowing you to finally feel.
That life isn't all about the pain, pretty things even come from rain.
Don't lose hope your time will come, never knowing which direction from.
So be open to the possibility, the your heart may be filled, finally.
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Smother Me


SMOTHER ME
Like your pillow to my face.
Like carbon to my brain
Like crazy to the sain.
Like the devil to the gods.
Like something I forgot.
Like the finder to the sought.
Like blood to the wound
Like lovers to the swoon
Like heaven to the earth
Like knowing what your worth
In all things created equal
In time according to your will.
I love you in time, Together we'll bind.
In my dreams and my mind.
Soon and to my relief...
Will you smother me?

*Fin


ANBERLIN LYRICS

"(*Fin)"

Feels like you're miles from here,
in other towns with lesser names.
Where the unholy ghost doesn't tell
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear.
You remember the house on Ridge Road
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared.

I am the patron saint of lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just near lost causes?
Aren't we all to you just lost

Tommy, you left behind
something that will mean everything right before you die.
What if you gained the whole world?
You've already lost four little souls from your life.
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.

That you are the patron saint of lost causes.
All you are to them is now a lost cause.
All you are to them is now, causes.

Billy, don't you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
you made his faith disappear.
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth.
We're not questioning God.
Just those he chose to carry on His cross.
We're no better, you'll see.
Just all of us, the lost causes.

Aren't we all to you just lost causes?
Are we all to you lost?
Lost causes
So all we are to you,
Is all we are, is all we are
All we are is all we are

[Choir:]
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you? (Lost causes, all we are is all we are)
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you? (To you, lost...)

Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?

Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
and nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could bring forth, is this hell
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up in all that I am
is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
This is my hell.

Jane | Volturi -- Twilight


I stood ’ chamber, awaiting orders to leave for the ’s. was anxious I could tell he did not hold hatred for the ’s like some of the other did. I did not have such feelings; I simply did as I was told, except for that one . coveted her like he once coveted me and now I was simply second rate, whereas she was the shiny new sports car and that loving a human; Pathetic. I could feel my feature twisting with disdain as I tried and failed to remain indifferent. A man was then brought into the chamber, stood to my left. “How dare you bring that filth into our – private – quarters,” He directed it toward the man who stood guard. “Jane if you would.” A smile took over the grimace on my painted lips as I stepped forward toward the guard. “Pain,” the man keeled over, screaming and grabbing at his innards as if he could reach them and relieve the horrible gut wrenching torture, “Janie, dear heart;” ’s smooth voice sang over the wailing; with a small frown I seized my assault. “If you kill all of the guard who will bring us our meals?” He inquires rhetorically. I took a step back and nodded as helped the man up and shooed him out. He glanced at the man who was ushered in and before coming to stand next to me he asked, “Now, what is it you have for me?” he paused to touch my hair. “And talk quick, Jane here gets quite impatient.” :~: TO BE CONTINUED :~:

Liam Payne -- Twilight


I was pushed into a room that was crimson red from top to bottoms. There was lush curtains that covered the walls as if there were would have been windows there if it weren’t a tunnel. There were three ominous figures ahead of me; a few scattered beings to either side of them and one girl. Her platinum locks were pulled back from her face and her fierce ruby gaze was locked with mine. Her lips twitched with a small almost incoherent smile as she watched me curiously. 

“Now, what is it you have for me?” One of the ominous figures spoke; approaching the girl and touching his long bone like fingers to her hair. “And talk quick, Jane here gets quite impatient.” Her name, #Jane hung in the air around us like a sweet song. I was nudged forward as if to prompt me to speak but then the pain came.

It was like a fire being set to my insides but something far, far worse. Like someone had reached in and grabbed my guts and has no began to pull them from my chest one by one but yet still worse.

For a moment my mind went blank and all I could see or feel was the pain but I remembered how I get here. How I came to be in this situation and it wasn’t pretty. Well, it wasn’t your normal story anyway…

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Mostly just an angry rant.

I never knew it was possible to hate someone so much, well maybe to hate them but not to both hate them and love them in equal measure. Apparently it is possible to want to rip someone to shreds while still wanting to hold them and be with them. I'm so angry, all the time and there's really nothing I can do but try my damnedest to forget, to move on but it's hard. Damn near impossible even and I owe it all to him. I mean, I never thought I could just hate... In fact who knows maybe hate is a strong word but it doesn't feel like that to me; not right now. Hate doesn't even feel like it covers it actually.. Loath, despise... Mostly I just can't stand feeling this way. So lost, angry, confused. So many emotions to fit into one person it's almost as if sooner or later I might explode from emotional overload; stay tuned that might still happen. What's worse though, it's as if he couldn't care less. It's as if I never meant a damn thing to him and that kills me more than anything else. I mean, I'm a person! I real person, with real feelings and I am so tired of feeling like there's not a person in this world whose life is changed simply because I exist. It's a discouraging thought and if he could only for five seconds TELL THE TRUTH; to me, to himself. I mean really would it kill you? For all of 5 seconds today I at least felt like maybe he missed me but would it be too much to ask for him to actually say so? Maybe he doesn't miss me, maybe he doesn't even care and those are the thoughts I live with everyday. Wondering, hoping, second guessing.. Such is life right?