My story.

So I figure one day this blog will be like my memoir and people will come from all over to buy it and read all about who I was and who I became but for now I am just me; who that is, I don't even know anymore. I'm a wife, or at least I was, I'm a daughter, though I'm not entirely certain if I'm a great one. I'm a mom, even though I often fall short and I'm a friend though sometimes I'm not as good of one as I wish I was. It's said all the time, life puts on you only what you can handle but it's only during the times you are tested that you wonder if you're really as strong as this so called "life" thinks you are. Can you really rise above adversity, can you really pick up the broken pieces of who you once were and build again? Lately, I've felt like my entire life, all that I am, all that I was, it's been taken from me and I'm left a shell of the person I used to be. An empty existence of a person who once was. I've been pushed out of my life, Mother, Wife, Friend, Daughter and been made to remake all that I am. We are born a blank canvas, to do with what we will but how often does a person get the ability to remake themselves, to reinvent all that they were... Preferably not often as it's one of hardest things I would think a person would have to do. To become someone they never planned on being. Maybe one day, at least I hope, I will be someone's wife again and I will be a better one because of all that's happened recently. Maybe on that same day I will realize that I'm a better mother, a better daughter and a better friend too because it is not until we are tested that we find out just who we are and all that we can be. It's not until we are tested that we realize that perhaps all that we were wasn't living up to our full potential. It hurts now, to feel so blank, so empty but I hope that one day, preferably soon, I will be whole again. My pages, my story no longer clear of words and left scattered on the floor but written in it's entirety and bound with beautiful golden thread with pages lined in silver and pressed to perfection. Of course, my story is a long time in the making and perhaps this is the part that makes the story worth reading. So stay tuned, it's going to be a wild ride.